Wednesday, Night.


Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Varying but mostly indifferent.

I'm beginning to love philosophy.
It clarified a lot of philosophies that I already have, and it's truly a good book.
...okay I haven't finished it yet.
But hey, I'm only halfway through and I've already learned so much!
From histories of people like Martin Luther King Jr. to Ghandi, their actions seek to extinguish suffering through non-violent means, to one of the hottest topics about 'What is love?'. It really grabs my attention.

As for today, the councilors asked us to write something about what is love to us. Perfect timing for me to 'apply my knowledge', but basically I went on to write what they may see as 'boring stuff from Terence again'. Heck, I shan't care about what others think of me. I say I have a girlfriend in California, my friends doubt our relationship. I had a major dis-ease about the Inner Demon thing, and people just don't give me the care I need. Whatever, my relationship came out of Rita killing off my Inner Demon, so I can't be bothered at all. She made me stand up, and I have her to thank for that.

Okay, where was I? Oh, the 'boring stuff from Terence'. I wrote something about Eros, Philos, and Agape. Eros is sexual love, mostly towards the opposite gender, hence the word 'erotic' comes about in pornography. Philos is your interest in other stuff other than sexual. Things like love for studies, love for philosophy, love for drawing, they all fit in this category. So you can say that I have a certain amount of Philos inside me now.

The third one, this...Agape, is what caught most of my attention. It involves selfless love, the highest form of love according to the book. But usually this kind of love ends in deaths and all. One day, I might even die for my loved ones, too. Loving without expecting anything in return, it's noble, and it bring peace within oneself...(I think.)

Never mind. I'm being too philosophical today, anyway. Haha.

Love, and don't be afraid to get hurt,
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
20:17


Monday , Night.


Monday, January 29, 2007

Mood-de-rator: <3

I've had one of the best weekend...yet.
The teasing...the chatting...
Even though there are a few who advised me against it...I'll not lose hope.
I'll commit at the risk of a possible behavior change for...the very worst.
Nevermind about that, I'm still young, I need to learn, don't I?

Anyways, today turned out to be quite a breezy day.
The phototaking session couldn't get any worse...pinafores start flying up!
Extremely unsightly...but...at least they're with their shorts, else I'll make my eyes sore. (IF I don't get sore eyes...)

After school...fooled around with the soccer ball...without much trouble.

Vanilla Ice-blend officially became my source of good Mana. O.o

Bleh. Can't be bothered to blog much.

Start anew after every setback,
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
22:15


Wednesday, Night.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Tired but happy.
Best view of today : A porch with a girl and a handphone.

"Our love will be as tough as the strongest steel..." is something I told a girl to get her to sleep at as late as 4 in the morning.

It's not a hoax, it's a promise. A CraftKnight's promise is stronger than the toughest steel. =)

Oh well...today is just a normal day...with homeworks and things like that. I want to finish my Math homework so Mr Wong won't strangle me...but at the same time...I'm getting pretty worn-out.

...and today I spent too much. Yea.

What else...Mum distracted me while I'm blogging, so now my mind is a total blank.

All that's left is a view of today...the girl at the porch with a handphone. You know who you are. Haha.

Promise,
Terensu the CraftKnight



Let it Rain.
22:01


Tuesday, Night.


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Tired...and warm.

Today...is a tiring day.
One bottle of Mana really wasn't enough to keep my brain going.
I was barely awake at the dumb EFL talk about pornography.
Why did I call it dumb? Well, probably because I don't like that Perv ball thing.

There's something about what they said that was interesting, as far as I can remember (My memory always lie to me when it comes to remembering speeches), they said : "This piece of paper, the man and the woman, is like they're having sex. No matter how you separate them, there will always be some stuff that will never come off."

Okay fine, EFL wasn't that bad. But the thing about "earlier sex" rings a bell about this friend..and for no reason, cervical cancer.

Yea, more Biology yada yada.

I'll not get into that, you guys should know more than me.

So...I started on the Faithkeeper today, and I only did the hilt. Dang.

At least I did something, though I don't have much time until Friday comes and goes.

I'd better spend some time at home doing the Keyblade instead of using the com. But nowadays I can't even reach home before 4, and most of my evening and night is dedicated to a poor girl who stays up just to chat with me.

It's hard on the Lovergirl, seriously.

Heck, I'm extremely tired now. Tomorrow's after school will be...E maths Mastery test (Thanks for remembering, Terensu.), homework completing, and doing another bit of the Faithkeeper. With so much stuff in hand, I really don't know whether I can survive this week without crying over the Mastery test results...I really want my A maths. I really do.

But nevermind. As long as Lovergirl's in my heart, I'll survive. Failure is not an option. *Brimming with confidence*

Best view for today? Brandon and Hannah walking together while me and a few friends watched from the 4th floor. Sweet couple, heh.

Faithkeeper Bearers are strong at heart, because it's the power of 2,
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
21:12


Monday, Night.


Monday, January 22, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Burning. (With what? I can't tell)
Drowning in : Disenchanted

Yes, I think I'm attached.
On a relationship. =)
The "unlucky" one? You'll know. Lol.
Well anyways...today marks the starts of the 4th week.
...and I was like..."Huh, 4th week no remedial...okay."

Nevermind. Lol.

It was a really calm day today. I enjoyed calming myself down even at the slightest stimulation of the mind. Lol.

Towards the end of the day...my bottle was empty (No mana), I feel empty (No mana), and the water cooler didn't work (Oh no, no mana!). In the end...I had to spend $1.50 on MANA. (Vanilla ice blend...tastes great though.)

Headed to the library, grabbed this book on philosophy called The Big Questions. Then headed for the YCK station.

Geng was with me the whole time. Haha good friend.

Came back..."Rita!!!!"

Haha, this silly goat gulped down the whole 16oz of energy drink when she's supposed to drink only half. Lol.
And we got the idea of our own Keyblade : the FaithKeeper. I'll be starting on the design and finishing it in class by this week. I'll force someone to take a picture of it and send to me, I will.

After the effects of the energy drink worn out, her energy gauge immediately went empty, and I told her to go to sleep.

Then just fooled around the Net searching for stuff.

Tonight, I listened, and consoled.

Reminds me of the time when me and Dad had some conflicts. Like father like son, all cowards. Lol.

Oh how can I say that, I'm so unfillial. Nah, my Dad is great.

I never knew MCR can make slow songs that nice. Lol.

Nevermind, maybe I just haven't touched much music.

Sleep well guys, begone with your dis-ease.

Friends are your clothes, don't leave home without them
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
21:45


Thursday, Night.


Thursday, January 18, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Happy but painful.

Well...yea. I'll keep this short since I can't type well with only my right hand.
Anyways, PE was truly PE today. Did a serious set of 20 push-ups, 15 burpies, 15 star jumps, 10 counts of leg-raise, and 30 jumping jacks. By the end of it I already reached 80% heart rate. I guess I'm not that fit after all.

Sprained my shoulder while playing a little ball after school. The pain only showed towards the end of 4pm.

So what did I gain today?
1) A good workout.
2) A sprained shoulder.
3) Knowledge.

English remedial is about the best thing after school. Yet. Lol.

Back into the game (more like...PAIN!!!!),
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
21:37


Wednesday, Afternoon.


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Mood-de-rator : *Cry*

What I need now
Is a shoulder to cry on
I pictured it
But I don't feel the warmth.

What I need now
Is a sentence to carry me on
I pictured it
But where are you?

What I need now
Is to hold you in my arms
I pictured it
But I couldn't do it even once.

What I need now
Is this "Yes" from you
I pictured it
But I'll probably never hear it from you.

Be happy even if your heart breaks,
Terensu the Craftknight



Let it Rain.
17:27


Tuesday, Night.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Mood-de-Rator! : Alive, dead, then alive again.
Current worries : Mastery tests...and this poor guy called Geng An.

Well!
I thought I was going to survive another 10 hours of non-stop f*** today! (Lol...omg Anabelle Chong ahhhh!!!!!!)
But...the first half...the actual classes...were okay. (Referring to the first 'Alive')
Then I went to have lunch. Chicken rice again. That's when things started to turn against my favour. At first, Maths was a breeze, with me teaching...or rather...lending either my worksheet or my notes on Statistics to my friends. Suddenly, a lethal fatigue took over me during Social Studies. I was taken by surprise. At first, my mind went blank, then, the whole noise of 4-4 started filling up my head, disabling me from proper thinking processes. All I can remember....

"Your (You're) mind (mine)...your mind...your mind...."

Then this guy called Zell died despite my cheering him on. In the end, he managed to write:
1) '1a)'
2) '16/1/07'
3) 'Something something something'

What a guy! A brilliant performance before falling to his doom...Dreamland!
Then, Physics. I used every ounce of Mana (mind power. "You're mine" gives up before your body does.) to listen to Mr. Yu. He gave us this piece of worksheet to complete, then asked us to go home. Thanks, Mr. Yu!

From here...my mind was still blank, so I'm staggering from this so-called 'brain damage'. Zell decided to play ball with MC...only to send the ball flying to the fan. The armour came off. (More like the covering protecting us from the fan blade.) Then a few boys came to fix the dang thing, as well as cleaning off the dust behind the blades. Pure black. Lol.

"If someone takes your heart, and throw it into the bin, what would you do?" This was the question Geng An has been asking today. I was already sensing something wrong the first time he said it. I wished he could chat with me about it sometimes, pour everything out, and I'll try to help him in any way I can. But no. He chose to scream at the stairs instead. My body has this amazingly funny ability to jump at sudden noises, even if I'm prepared for it. Oh well.

Then we went opposite to buy some stuff. I got myself this Chocolate ice blend and sat down with Geng and Zell, drinking quietly. Then...

"Oh shit she's coming." We thought we heard this but actually..."Oh no, shit's(Seet's) coming!"

Then...I went..."Rain's coming...and now shit?"
Geng An went "Lol shit rain. Lol shit's pouring."
I remember something and went "Shit's pouring, and I happen to be underneath." It was supposed to be 'beneath'. Dang.
Walked to the station with Zell and Shit crapping around.
Then I was thinking while they were talking....Bernard...coming...
I just sang to Geng, "He'll be coming round the mountain when he comes", and I found it too funny to continue. Haha.
'Coming round the mountain' is just too much. Lol!

Then, I just listened to them talking...Geng An left the train...Fiona left the train...and then I left the train with Shit and Zell and parted ways.

After that, Sis bullied me. The end.
Haha, you won't want to know what my Sis does when you're sleeping and she had to drag you to the coffee shop. *Help >.<*

Tomorrow's Mastery, and I seriously can't be bothered with it.
Maybe I'll just study a bit, just to play safe.

I'll listen to all your woes,
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
19:51


Monday, night.


Monday, January 15, 2007

Mood-derator : Sing!!!!!
Current eardrum spam : Welcome to the black parade.

Well...what the heck can I blog about today?
I shall blog about school? Nah. My throat gave me a hard time with the correct tune. Probably because of singing all day yesterday. Drat.
I've been trying...and trying...to sing "Welcome to the black parade". I'm seriously hooked to the song. It has some content relating to death, but all in all it's an extremely positive song. About carrying on. Problem is...I'm not that high a vocalist, and I changed tune badly. Sis screamed at me when I started going for the higher pitches. Sorry!

Anyways, Rain came today (Like...look at the wonderful weather!). What seemed like an extremely good weather decided that it will ruin everything to the end of school.
JiaHao was like..."Rain's coming."
Heh.
Actually...nothing...MUCH...happened today.
I realised that my stage fright that was bred during my Primary school days came out of me today. Damn it! I wasn't ready!!!
I can rock the house down anytime if you give me a reasonable rock song.
Seriously.

But it was funny though...seeing them all laughng away...I should seriously go be a clow...NO! I'm not good with jokes. Haha.

Doesn't matter. Tomorrow will be the mass workout, which means...my right knee's gonna get some more pain. The pain worsened today. I should really get someone to look at it. My bones seem to keep going this way and that. =\

Accomplishment for Runescape today...less than 500 coal mined.
Genius? Yes. Deliberate? Unfortunately, yes.
Chatting with someone overseas has never been so interesting.
I can actually open myself up. (Self-autopsy. O.o)
I still can't get why others can't trust me enough to open up.
Okay, maybe I'm expecting too much from my friends again. Haha.

Well...that's about it. I'm still spamming myself with 'Welcome to the Black Parade' while I'm typing this 'essay'...

It doesn't look like an essay at all.

Be happy,
Terensu the CraftKnight.

Days not angry for this year : 15



Let it Rain.
21:35


Sunday, evening, inspiring.


Sunday, January 14, 2007

So I was playing Runescape again...from 8 in the morning.
A little mining here, a little crafting there, and a little combat training.
After all these time, Darknight863 finally got back on track and rose his mining level.
74 is really a good number. =)

Okay, fun aside. I chatted with Rita today. Boy she taught me lots of stuff that i couldn't be bothered to find online. She told me a secret which I'll never tell (If you don't ask =x), and she indirectly allowed me to learn lots of things from her.

She sent me pictures of herself too.
Rita : "This is the latest one...*sends*."
Me : *Looks at picture* "Woah...*faints*."

She was that pretty.
(Okay not that someone is not pretty...*hint hint*)

Anyways, she made me realise how special I am.
Me : "When I'm alone, I can truly concentrate on one person."
That's all that I can remember from the conversation, but that made me realise how I never actually speak to some of my classmates. They all seemed...so scary.
Mutual silence is the best gift for anyone though. (*Hint hint again*)

...and then...she told me about something too personal and I shall not say it.

But she said this one thing which I totally agree...
Rita : "its (Sex is) for love and not just feeling good"

Like seriously.

...

Urgh, what should I say? Sex is no laughing matter, so I kinda get a little agitated about rape cases and other similar stuff. Women should get their due respect too.

I can't believe I actually blogged on such a mature topic, but I think everyone should get this point. Some people have become overly liberal, and overlooked the 'true beauty of sex'.

Hope I don't offend anybody,
Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
19:20


Thursday, Night, Rainy.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Mood-erator: Happy, silly, and hyper.

Higher Chinese : Compo.
English : Compo.

You might as well shower me with compos at the last minute. I'll take them on. Jeez.
Anyways, I pulled it off nonetheless, English with little problem since my head was pretty clear, but my hand took all the suffering. Sorry hand.
Chinese, I spent quite abit of time finishing the draft and then transferring it to my book.
Wow, I guess I've changed from quick writing to relaxed drafting and last-minute editing.

Anyways, today was so-so because of somebody who built a wall to prevent me crapping with anybody.
I love to crap, even if it annoys other people.
I think that it's fine as long as I don't overdo things.
PE was wow. Geng An carried me but put in too much friction on my thighs, and I carried him but I put too much friction on the thighs too. It was fun, I didn't know I can manage to piggyback someone heavier than me. So next time, I'll be finding ways to make the piggybacked feel alot more comfortable on the thighs.
Then we had to do some 'shadowing'. Shadow Partner as first impression. Geng An let me go first, so there. I was just running around and didn't have much enthusiasm on whether to turn or not. I do wish for superhuman agility like Ban has, though.Then I shadowed him, and he took me on a roundabout at the pillars...but it felt like trees for no reason.
Then cooldown. I think my flexibility has increased, I can actually put my head towards my thighs when I stretch now. Cool, and there was also this part where we have to like, legs over our shoulders. The first time I tried, I rolled back and sat up with that 'wtf' look. Lol.

Oh well, then the rest is all about this and that.

Romance is a wonderful thing. I'm glad I saw a pair patch up after some disagreement. It's always happy to see people patch up and be lovey-dovey. Yup I've changed, but this mindset hasn't. Hah.

I wonder how everybody is doing, if you see this, you can just tell me, and I will listen. I can only raise my voice and crap in class, but outside, when it comes to more mature stuff, I'm a listener. I'm serious. I don't like to talk about depressing stuff for some reason. Don't wish to get people upset and stuff. Haha.

Anyway, it'll be just a 'Terensu will listen Online' thing. I'm willing to listen, I really do.

...and I hope that something will work out with the newfound confidence. I'm me again, and I'm happy about it.

Best wishes to everyone, take care of yourselves,

Terensu the CraftKnight.



Let it Rain.
21:07


Wednesday, Afternoon, Truly enlightening.


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I've been keeping myself relaxed lately.

..and today, I'm light as a feather.
Thanks to a friend who showed me the light to many things which I don't know, and at the same time restoring my confidence to some things, I now feel that I can take any negative stuff that is thrown forcefully, be it inevitable or deliberate.

Yes, I'm ready to take you on, The Admired.
I'm ready to take you on, World!
If you want I'll take you on too! =D

I've never felt better...I really have to thank this person since she's the first, and I mean FIRST, to actually help me up when I'm going through hell. She was the first who took my deepest problems by the root and chewed it up, spat it out, and blasted it into god knows where.

Thanks, Rita.



Let it Rain.
17:44


Saturday, Night, Miserable.


Saturday, January 06, 2007

So! What do you guys want to know?
Why do I want to refrain from anger and girls?
Cause anger is plain stupid.
And girls..."Release the Demon...".

Nevermind. It all started yesterday when me and Zell decided to ask some girls about what they want from their future men.
- Freedom
- Trust
- Surprises x 2
- Something good to show off.

That's it?
Well that's all they want to say.
I'll need a close female friend to know more...but not this year.
Well...the miserable part?
I forgot...somehow this "What girls want" turned into "What I want".
And then this Inner Demon came out to eat me.
This Inner Demon?
It's something about "Desperation to seek attention".
Yes, I've become a freak, a pedo, and...I don't know. Insert your worst suitable noun here.
Then I barely snapped out of it.
I freaked many people out.
For this split second (More like a few minutes) I wanted my future girlfriend to be my 'crutches'.
I'm weak, I know.

Next day I feel all better only to brew trouble again.
I have such a wonderful brain that brews trouble every step of the way!
Maybe it was the fever...*Remembers the sinusitis during the August-September period*
Nevermind.
Moral of the story : I'm chewed up and spit out crushed.

...

But I will just hang in there until the day a miracle happen.
I apologise to everyone whom I freaked out and annoyed.
Received near-zero consolations so far...I really somebody to brighten up my life.
Despite the fact that I'm better off than tons of people, I have this wierdo Inner Demon.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
Why must i have this stupid mentality that ruined myself?
I'm a sad boy.

Targets : 20 push-ups a day, fight my Inner Demon, prevent myself from suicide, stop blaming myself, stop calling yourself a PERVERT.



Let it Rain.
21:46


Welcome

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Hi.
I'm Terence.
I'm 18.
My birthdate? 8th September.
If you need a friend to listen to you,I'll take the job.

Have fun,
NighT.

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