Sunday, Night.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Terensu feels : at an all-time low.

I know I haven't been posting, and I know that everytime I want to start, I'll get this feeling not to, probably because I'm just too lazy.

The Barbecue session yesterday was about the only thing worth mentioning for these few days. In the period of around 15 hours, most of it has been fun.Sudoku, Volleyball, Frisbee, Soccer...pretty nice way to bond with...the usual less-than-whole class.

I was feeling extremely depressed towards the end of it, and tired as well. At first, I was sitting there, barely listening to a group conversation. The conversation was okay at first, then it started getting on my nerve, so I went to the tent to just lay there on my own. Turned out that the voice was too much to handle, so I decided to sit at a bench to look at the night scene.

As I watched the waves, tears started to well in my eyes as I thought about the memories of the past, the pains, the sorrows, the anger, the darkness. Desperation made me cry in this case. I didn't want to be alone.

The inner self decides to talk to me again.

"Nice view, isn't it?"
"Look at the stars. So far, so free, and you're here, brooding on your own."
"I can't expect anyone to sit beside me now."
"Look at the bench, then at the stars. Both show how alone you are. One against the whole universe, and no-one there to stick it out with you."
"Well, I can't expect anything from people who wants money for survival, and more."

The innerself fades along with my tears.

I'm better off being my kind and caring Onii-chan.

Will genuine love ever open its doors to me? That remains an unknown.

Terensu the Onii-chan.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Night.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Terensu feels : happy.

Love has no boundaries.
To my friend, make sure you love Kim from the bottom of your heart. True love doesn't come by easily. You're lucky it came to you. =)
I'm glad you're making an effort to quit smoking/drinking/drugs/whatnot. I'm really glad.
Go, my friend. Love on, live on, fight on. I'll be supporting you all the way from the Equator region.

"Heh, lucky guy, isn't he?"
"Yea. It's good to see someone stepping out of a mess and standing so strong."
"You envious?"
"Well...yea. But what can I do? True love doesn't come by easily, after all."
"Ah. I'll be waiting with you, then."
"Yea, thanks, Self."

For love, my friend,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Monday, Night.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Terensu feels : that something must be done.

The papers are better off burnt.
The games are done and over with. Good.
HeartDrive activated when I needed that rapid release of frustration, depression, and all the negative feelings. That I can't thank the games enough.
Although we didn't win anything in the games, it still gives the 4/4 team, if not me, one heck of an experience.

While I was walking back home from the station, fatigue got the better of me : hip joints excreting more pain, internal pains from Friday resurfaced, eyes tired, but at least still able to have a fairly clear vision.

Then, out of nowhere, that scene from the March Games comes in full force, like raining arrows.

The class spirit barely grew from where we left off.

"Disunited. It hurts you to see it, eh?" It's the familiar soul-searching talk again.
"Well, yea, all that Jia Hao said...I think we really need to do something."
"Hence the gathering." The 'me' added.
"Yea...and then all the equal rights and stuff like that..."

The self-communication continued for sometime until I came upon this sentence : Equality is an ideal. Harmony is much needed.

The Taoist sign really says a lot about the laws of the universe.


I'll go to that gathering. I must.

But for now...let me drink some water. My throat is in pain, my mouth is parched, and fatigue is crawling all over me.

Oh well,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Sunday, Night.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Terensu feels : swayed by music.

Now now...what should I blog about?
Blog about how interesting the many ways of watching anime are? Nah. Some people just watch it for the...well...people. Others for the story. Others go deeper. Meh.
Blog about the heats on Friday? Nah. That 3rd was a lucky break. If not for all the heats crammed together, I'd have been rock bottom in the rankings for 1500m.
Blog about Saturday? Nah. What's there to blog about being lost in the middle of Stevens road and then finding the location bring close to 50 minutes late? Heck, but I am glad, nonetheless, for not dragging anyone into that mess.
Blog about today? Nah. It's just a whole round of experimenting on ROSE, then chatting with Venga about Granado Espada...
I', still a little shocked to know that Granado Espada actually took so much effort to advertise.
Oh well...*reads*...nice summary. I'll go back to listening to songs.

Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Thursday, Night.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Terensu feels : like monkey.

Thoughts were brewing in my mind during that leadership session...(never mind about 'rest of the day', all the skating, and haning around with 4/4's been great, but I want to write on this.)

*Okay...monkey see monkey do...*

*Law...uh huh...*

*Tic Tac Toe...okay...*

*Fun guy.*

Then something struck me in a way that got me stunned for a moment.

Philosophy. I totally forgot about it.
I have been thinking about what...girls, girls, girls, exams, girls, and even more girls. I cleanly forgot about my own philosophy.
I have been caging myself in a sacrificial pit, everyday being fed with bitterness and depression.

Then this William guy came along. Slowly, surely, and with flair, he managed to make me snap out of it. All in just 2 hours.

I'm freed, or so I think. Bah.

Whenever I start to push myself a little too hard, the eyebags of extreme fatigue would appear, and it's making its appearance now.

I need to sleep.

The best damn thing,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Morning.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Terensu feels : like experimenting.

So, everything's over, papers all done, and now, I'm just sitting right here, enjoying my one day holiday. I'll be meeting up with the boys at around 12.30pm though.

So, yea. Many things have happened during the test period. Me successfully making my Psykeeper, trying to make a BowJester but too unmotivated to do so, started Rose Online on a private server but was lost...

"...I'll be like a lost little kitten..." Heh, to think that random thoughts can lead to a nice chat.

Hui Ling, leng jing. =)

So now...I'm going to experiment more on ROSE than anything else. I got to figure out things on my own. Cya.

Lots of love,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Night.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Terensu feels : alone, peaceful, and PISSful. With myself.

It was a really fun time.
E Math forced me to rack my brains a lot.
Chemistry didn't. But I had fun writing neatly at first, then scribbling away.
Tomorrow...A Math, Physics. Gosh, I wasted my day again.
Never mind. Its either I know it or I don't. Doesn't matter much.

I'll make a promise to myself : Go full force on differentiation if you have to, cause' you're weak at it.

Yup, now that that's done...


Mum is one of the best friends you can ever have. Just walking with her makes you all fuzzy inside.
Yes, I love motherly people.
Went to get a brand new calculator as the current one is...well...flat. Yes I didn't use one for E Math. I couldn't care less.
Then, she asked me to go upstairs of Sun Plaza to eat, cause' apparently...I haven't.

The first thing that came up to my mind was "No................!"
Never mind. So I managed to get myself a plate of roasted pork rice, found a seat, sat down without screwing up, and enjoyed my meal.
Well, what do you know? Couples start flashing past my very eyes, again!
It seems that this society has near-zero tolerance for abstinence.

I thought to myself, "If you can't beat them, join them..."

Heart : "Join them? But, who would want to join you?"
Terence : "Yea, good question. Who would want to join me? Would YOU like to join me?"
Heart : "Stop pulling my leg. I AM part of you."
Terence : "Haha. Frankly, you know what? If this 'drought' continues I'm going to turn into one of the three people whom I fear most : a gay, a lecher, or a Casanova."
Heart : "Omgwtfbbqhax!"
Terence : "Yea. Hax. I wouldn't want to change my sexual orientation, touch strangers somehow-anyhow, or screw and dump, screw and dump. I only want one. One!"
Heart : "Erm, yea. One. But..."
Terence : "The ONE never came."
Heart : "Yea, what you said."
Terence : "Never mind. I'll just finish this soup and get out of here. Stupid abstinence thingy."
Heart : "I understand how you feel. Now if you would excuse me..." *disappears*

Sometimes...I just think of someone whom I've lost contact for quite a few months...

Rita, where did you go?

Yea, like, ONE!
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Monday, Morning.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Terensu feels : dejected.

The exams are less than two hours away, and I haven't done anything to revise.
Hell, my incompetence ruined everything for yesterday, trust you to play FlyFF just because you're in a bad mood, Terence.

Irritating, stupid, incompetent, lazy good-for-nothing.

I give up. When things don't manage to work out for you, you fail, plain and simple.

Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Sunday, Morning.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Terensu feels : curious.

It's a magical morning.

As I walked back from Mac's, feeling too ashamed to hog a place there, I enjoyed the srernity of the morning, and magic started to do its job.

A few simple, yet mesmerising visions came to my mind.
1. Total darkness, then a visible ripple, like water.
2. Snow, and two sets of eyes meeting each other.
3. The library, and a random girl comes to sit with me.
4. Unison of spirits.
5. Cherry blossoms.

When somebody you know begins to reach into the deepest depths of your heart, it gets mildly disturbed, like ripples in water. That person must be lovely.
Snow and cherry blossoms, both which I think are romantic. I don't know why, but these visions...I must have been watching too much romance going on here and there.
As for the library thing...meh. It's another one of my fantasies.
Unison, that's something which I've been yearning for all this while. I've never truly felt what it is like, so all the more it gets me curious.

A relatively quiet morning is truly magical.

Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Thursday, Night.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Terensu is : letting his imagination run wild.

Volume Red, Phoebe.
Volume Orange, Orion.
Volume Yellow, Acura.
Volume Green, Goliath.
Volume Blue, Fritz.
Volume Indigo, Ignis.
Volume Violet, Luna and Solaris.

Ultima Volume, Imperial Sword of Light.
Forbidden Volume, Kazuzakura. (Don't ask where this name came from, please.)

Sealed Volume, Spirit.

/* Just a blog for me to keep track of my already overflowing imagination. */

Loves to play ball,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday , Night.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Terensu feels : guilty.

In the rare chance of walking alone from school, I managed to dig deep down.
Down into the concealed depths of my heart I go.

Terence : "Yo."
Heart : "You, didn't come down here just to say 'yo', did you?"
Terence : "Well, you know. Same old shit."
Heart : "Ah."
Terence : "You see, I've been single for quite a while now, and to be frank, I don't like it. I'd rather be tied down with something than to be too free and do foolish stuff."
Heart : "You finally explained your desperation."
Terence : "I guess I did. I had no clue why I was so desperate before."
Heart : "But tell me? How much courage do you even have left, to do a confession? Worst, do you even dare to love at all, after all these ordeals?"
Terence : "..."
Heart : "Now now Terence, hesitation won't get you anywhere. You know that you would want to do a confession again, and your previous time was successful with the help of Rita..."
Terence : "Please, don't mention her again. She's leading a good life."
Heart : "Whatever, she only lost contact with you. You know you want to do it again, but now the problem is, you feel too hurt by your previous experiences that you don't dare to try it once more."
Terence : "But I have to consider the other..."
Heart : "Be selfish for once, Terence? I know it's against your values to do that but, sometimes you just have to pop the question! Women are highly unpredictable creatures."
Terence : "Yea. Unpredictable."
Heart : "Now, now, if you want to do the confession, do it after you calmed yourself down. Free yourself from violent thoughts like slapping women and stuff. I know they deserve it sometimes, but please, not now."
Terence : "Uh huh."
Heart : "And also, try to remember the whole load of advices your friends gave you. Although also out of your own values, they're what modern people likes. You just can't deny that."
Terence : "You speak like I'm some old sage."
Heart : "Your heart also contains your wisdom, Terence. Now go, do some soul-searching, do whatever you want. Wait for yourself to calm down, communicate a little, before even considering to attempt to pop the question."
Terence : "I got it now. Thanks oh-so-mighty-one."
Heart : "Aww, shut up."

What an interesting heart I have.

Calming down,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.

Tuesday, Night.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Terensu feels : like writing something, but is too lazy to do so.

As expected, I wasted yet another day on the comp. When will I ever do my homework?
That does it, no going home until I finish at least half of my outstanding homework tomorrow afternoon.

So today, strange feelings get invoked again.
I know I'm not supposed to, but somehow....
A new crush, maybe . *Tries to recall yesterday's scenes...*
Terensu the Tico. >.<

Okay never mind.

So, yea. I feel like writing something, but I'm just too lazy to do so. I'll probably do it when my Mage becomes a Psykeeper and the holidays come, but that would mean that I'll have to start on my C language again.
There just isn't much time for an average human to accomplish many things.

Oh well.

I shall proceed to ponder on whether to keep invoked feelings as it is, confess it, or forcefully end it.
The first option would definitely be out of the question. This corrosion is bad enough.
The second seems to be the most optimal choice, but I don't have anymore courage to say it.
The third...well...refer to choice one. =.=


Just some randomness,
Terensu : WinterDarKnight.

Let it Rain.



I'm Terence.
I'm 18.
My birthdate? 8th September.
If you need a friend to listen to you,I'll take the job.

Have fun,



J!@ H@0
Geng An


.July 2006.
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