Monday, November 24, 2008
I feel at peace.
With who I am, and who I'm like, and who I fancy.
Finally I can understand, somehow, to accept the fact that well, the world cannot be fair.
The monster in me seems to have calmed. Locked itself into an Iron Maiden to enjoy the hurt it's giving itself.
I close my eyes. Until the day that these red rings will become useful, I won't have them be released that easily.
Sure, I can look at girls, pretty ones, all day.
But that's all i can do. Never more, never less.
Thanks to the certain someone who pulled me out of breakdown. I'm sure it'll reoccur, but thanks for now.
Oh, and happy birthday, Geng An. It's great being your close friend.
Let it Rain.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The six-thousand-two-hundred-and-seventy-first night.
Last time I looked at it, it was still in the fifties, now around 20 days have passed.
I still feel alive, somehow. My mind feels okay, although I know it's showing signs of breakdown already : Sudden violent surges, mild madness, periodical urges to cry.
I can imagine the sky having patches of red already.
I try to make my eyes emotionless. I wonder if it worked. My eyes will hurt, but I don't mind. As long as people can't see anything in my eyes, they won't know how I'm feeling.
Yet the wish for someone to love me hasn't subsided one bit. What's wrong with me?
I can keep dreaming, but this dream is trapping me in for long enough...
If my mind is portrayed as the world, my screams would have destroyed it.
Let it Rain.