Tuesday, Night.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bad day. Curses working everywhere.

Mood-de-rator : Depressed. (I refuse to despair.)

Nice day today...*sigh* not.
It's all fun and games (Mass workout) until I started losing an eye (Math), and another (Geog Elec), and another (SS after school lesson), and another (Soccer after remedial lessons).
Math? It was just plain failing my A maths test AND mastery. No practice, no marks. Even the passing of E seemed like no big deal.
Geog Elec. Who would be bloody happy when he can't manage to write much in 45 minutes?
SS. No powerpoint, so I had to use my marker to 'rock the house down'. So much for that. I said something that agitated the girls which I do not want to remember. I mean, yes it's a fact right smack in your face, but...nevermind. You girls are just gonna call me a BIG LOSER for saying other stuff again.
Soccer. It...wasn't much actually...but I cursed myself that "Something tells me that I will get hurt sooner or later", and sure enough, I got kicked at the shin. Nothing happened, fortunately, or I'll be crying about ruining Cross Country again.

It was the only thing I looked forward to besides a possible chalet and the 'O's.

As the boys left...Yio Chu Kang...Khatib...Yishun...Woodlands...

I walked alone.
I thought about all the things that happened today.
"You're just a big loser!"
"You cannot go up to stage and present."
"You're a loser in primary school, and now...you're letting history repeat itself."
"You are not going to present anything ever again! No one will drag you up there."
"Just a big loser."
"Big loser."


I cried a little..."I must be too bogged down by depression..."...

I was afraid..."I'm going to be what I fear most...the heartless society itself..."...

Randomly..."You're not going to get a girlfriend if you're going to continue like this..."

..."Don't give up on this life yet...dying is not an option. It's stupid, and immature."

Am I letting myself get influenced by friends? Have I really done wrong? Why, what is wrong with me?

I held back my tears. No crying. No crying. No crying.

Not going to do homework. Not going to bother about any other shit. I'm just going to...sleep. Just tonight.

I really need someone. I think I really do.

Terensu The CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Monday, Night

Monday, February 26, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Tired. (Always tired. Heh.)

I look at my tagboard everyday.
Oh well, I guess people like to browse around without tagging. I guess I'll just have to make do with that.

Anyways, I started off my own day on a bad note. I was all down and stuff. I guess what friends say have a pretty great impact on you.
I was angry with myself yesterday for not planning things well. I should have asked Lee Teck for the PowerPoint disc right from the start. Sorry man.
At least me and HongYu did something for the powerpoint. I read and re-read all the quotes, and figured that some were repititive, so I took them out today and did a little commenting on my own. The presentation will be chocked full of either pictures or fanpics of Kingdom Hearts II. I'm so addicted to the story, and Sora too, I guess. Haha.

I was angry at myself on Saturday for not informing ChaiRong earlier about the project thing. It could have been done earlier if not for me. Maybe I'm blaming myself too much but...I'm not doing very well as a leader should, you see. Flag Day took a lot out of my legs...as well as my energy...*Yawn*...hey wait I'm not yawning for Saturday. Heck.

I still remember how ZhiAn went "freaking ten-dollar note." when an uncle came to me and put in a ten-dollar note, but ZhiAn, you got enough two-dollar notes to counter my ten dollars, so why complain? Besides, we're doing this for a good cause! =)

*Sigh*...today didn't go very well either. Due to my bad leader qualities, we have nothing to present, and thanks to the other groups who did lengthy presentations, our heads are saved. Maths was a big trouble too. ecause I devoted my whole weekend on the Literature project, I had no time for Math, and I had to sit outside to complete the worksheets I owe. Sorry Mr. Wong, there won't be a next time. The rest of the day was quite okay with the storm after school.(Kinda expected since I was in a bad mood all day.)

I sure hope JiaHao, JieMing and company had a good time at the movies.

I regret not exercising earlier...now I simply have no time at all...and Cross-Country is...4 days away?!? How screwed can this week get?

That's IT, I'm swimming on Wednesday, and I'll grab a few people along too.

And no more playing for long hours! It's a wonderful thing I managed to play Runescape for only half an hour and gain a combat level. Total level 928.

Jee...all this working hard is making me tired. I'll lie down in bed and think about what my two friends said to me during Literature class...

'My' romantic scene of the day : Me and someone else, back to back, preparing to fight a horde of enemies. I find it romantic because, well, I'm the kind of person who enjoys fighting alongside my girlfriend. It requires great mutual trust to fight alongside each other, and I really like that.

Live thru' this week,
Terensu The CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Friday, Night

Friday, February 23, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Tired.

I'm tired.
Of school, of relationships, of the pains I'm having, of everything.
I've failed to be a retard. They're lucky to be oblivious of this all.
Pains in the right brain...a possible stroke symptom. I don't know. But if I did get a stroke, wonderful. I'll be bedridden.


Alright, maybe not so wonderful.

Of school...you'll be sick and tired if your report-card-to-be is going to be all underlined - in other words, 'red ants' - a big fat 'Ang Pao' for CNY.
Of relationships...well...I don't know whether to break it out with Rita or not. I've woken from my dream, and I realised how foolish I was. No matter how much I hate being a realist, I'll still have to face it : she still has a life to live. I must not be selfish. I'll hurt her when she comes online...it's better than hurting her deeper and deeper as time goes by.
So now, I guess I'm a free man, and I bet I'll be going after some girl again.

Refrain will be a hard task to accomplish. It's animal instinct vs. reality. I guess reality doesn't allow it.

Survive the 'O's, talk about courtship later....at least try to.


"Come on Terence, it's better to break her heart now than to scar it in the long run!"


Right, I'll do just that. It'll be harsh on the girl but...AHH! Screw it! Screw this...this...this...whatever!

I'm just plain tired!

Terensu the CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Night.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A belated Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!

Alright...now that it's done...

Mood-de-rator : Depressed? No. Angry? No. I'm more into the heavy thinking side these days.

How's everyone? Getting ang paos? Getting sore throats? Eating lots of food?
Me? I didn't eat much, so no sore throat. Ang paos...quite a few. Food? You bet, and they taste really good too.
During the stay in Malaysia, I gambled, ALOT, and I swear never to do it again.
I don't like surprises. Haha.
Kevin kept having his blood drained because he always get stunned by better DaiDee combos.

*Pssssttttt*...and his blood sprays. Better not gamble this year, man. It's really not your year.

The stay wasn't very interesting, though, it's actually the conversations with my cousins that's really interesting. They never fail to make me laugh and stuff.
And Larry, get out of that debate man...they give you a freaking notion ("Economic development and social responsibility goes hand in hand"), and you have to come out with points from both sides, and do something impromptu when the actual day comes? You can't do crap without cooperating with your female team mate. Best of luck anyway.

When I came back, the Literature project failed to be done. Yay.

And the papers were left undone since left them behind. Double yay.

Oh well.

And this girl...she's starting to change my thinking. I don't know whether it's going for better or for worse, but the thing I know is that I better stand my ground for the time being. I don't want to become a totally different person overnight.


Fine I'm freaking resistant to change, what can you do about it?

Oh well, take care of your health guys, the weather doesn't seem right nowadays.

Take care,
Terensu The CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Thursday, Night.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Mood-de-rator: I don't know...Calm.

Going steady, breaking up, getting married or divorced...it has all become a part of life, more and more negative than before.
After a chat with someone tonight, it made me realise how I have always thought selfishly to get the girl I want. Is this really the romance I sought after? Is it really worth my effort to go all out to get them?
Maybe they were the smarter ones, they reject me, they prevent me from doing anything foolish...I don't know how to put it, but romance seems more and more like a subject the smarter I am. You have to be good at it to succeed, which really isn't the point.
Maybe I did everything for nothing, being someone who seeks love, be it input or output, every single day. I know it's hard to come by, but somehow, I just had to force things to work my way. Maybe there's too much love I want to give, so much so that I have to force someone to accept it. It really doesn't work that way no matter what you do.

Nevermind...just some random thoughts about this year's Valentine's. Although I gave stuff and probably made that someone happy, it was way different from what I pictured it out to be. Valentine's is supposed to be sweet and stuff, but what comes out are either a lot of couples' hearts, hand in hand, or a lot of broken hearts. It's just...not that happy anymore.

Maybe we guys deserve to be rejected. It's the women who chooses us, not the other way round. If we do anything it just make things worst...

There's more to this 'love' business than I originally thought it would be. I'd rather stick to friendship.

Happy to have been rejected,
Terensu the CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Night.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Mood-de-rator : Don't know. Satisfied?

This is it, the day which quite a few people have prepared for.
Valentine's Day.
My day started at 5am, with me getting ready to go to school early.
Okay...so I wasn't very early after all. Zell and Geng, 2 of the main characters for today's story, arrived way before me. ( Enthusiastic guys ready to confess. Go guys! )
Angel and Mortal up first. I got a cup from my Angel. Thanks! I really liked it...although I forgot to bring it back home...*slaps self*

Then the day went on with some stuff here and there. Forget about the Mother Tongue test.
Chemistry lesson went on until...where did Wei An go?

Two boxes came, with Louis and Wei An as deliverymen.

Three girls were asked to go over.

Three guys popped out to confess to them.

One calmly went back to her seat.

One freaked out.

...and one appeared to be happy.

I seriously don't get why girls freak out or run away. I need enlightenment.

Terensu The CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Thursday, Night.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Mood-de-rator : I forgot. Suicidal, perhaps.

School really wears you out.
Or maybe it was the 5-round run which wore me out.
I've been trying out a much faster pace to run with. It seems to work, but my body couldn't take a lot of it.
After that five rounds, I bent down to rest myself, and blood flowed to my brain...
And guess what? I started to sway!

Oh well.
Today was a day for me to see couples upon couples. First the real ones, then the ones in 'Much ado about nothing', and then more real ones. Lol.
I cannot complain about physical intimacy. I must not. =)
Although...Rita is gone for...so long...I'm starting to really miss her.
Where is my silly girl? Probably at her dad's. Sigh.

Anyways, bad stuff aside.
I drew anoter two Keyblades today, one for Minette ('Simply Minette'. Lol.), the other one for the drowsy people (Woolen lullaby). I looked at the keyblades, first my coloured ones, and then my uncoloured ones. Why do they say that the uncoloured ones looked nicer? I don't really get their point. Never mind, I'll manage to grasp their point somehow.

View of the day : The computer and the bag.

Speaking about 'bag', I'd better start on my homework.

Good or bad choices, they're still there for you to choose,
Terensu the CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Wednesday, Night.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Mood-de-rator : *Delirious* (Not good.)

Maths test took my sanity away.
Oh yea.
I walked my 'Sis' to the station.
My sanity gets chipped off here and there.

Until the time I get home, can my sanity restore...NOT!
I went crazy playing Tactics. (Yes, that game again.)
And I started to turn into a sadist with my Summoner, who summoned Ifrit to burn the remaining enemies...and all her teammates as well.
I'm going nuts.

Well, at least I'm still happy. Mdm Chan was acid, and what Chrysie said about Ms Yeo made me think that she's acid too...
Gosh...my 'good boy' attitude is going to corrode at a terrifying rate.
One day, when the attitude disappears, you'll see me sitting outside the General Office...
For seriously injuring a teacher.

Nah, when I get too stressed, I'll just cry. Big deal!

I really wished I could live in the 19th century...where everything is still developing...maybe then we won't feel that much stress.

Suicide is not an option, think positive!
Terensu the CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.

Monday, Afternoon.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mood-de-rator: Compelled to do homework, but thinks otherwise.

This weekend was okay.
Did a little homework here...and a little drawing there.
I can finally do homework in the weekend...without completing everything.
Oh well. It's a good start.

Anyways. Monday is a drag.
Higher Mother Tongue was sorta like the same old thing, except that the teacher now has a little more gossip to share around.
What I hated was when she started to drag into our Physics lesson. Some "drag" racer she is.
Physics was fine. Experiments were not.
I don't really dig sitting at the chair doing balancing games. No thanks, I've done that way too much in primary school.
Math was okay. The challenge is finally starting to show.

Nevermind. Fast forwards.

Oh, and the final design of the Faithkeeper is complete. I sure hope Rita was here, though. She's only been on for less than 10 minutes this weekend. Oh well, we're in different 'worlds'. *shrugs*

Oh...about this...'worlds'...I came upon this quote in my book which I find really interesting.

"Men and women 'in love' share the mistaken belief that they live in the same world. They come to "love" one another when they acknowledge that they live in different worlds, but are prepared, once in a while, to cross the chasm that separates them." - Thomas Szasz

This is in fact very true. When we're in love, we see each other as being in the same world, (Both emotionally, and maybe physically) but when we acknowledge that we live in different worlds (I think this related back to human biology, and probably about how minds of the two genders work), and prepared once in a while to cross the chasm that separates them, (The gender border.) we will truly love one another.

I guess you're pretty much confused right now. What I meant about this...gender border, is the difference in how minds of both sexes see things. Most men would see themselves as objects who come into contact with other objects, forming alliances or enmities with them blah blah blah. Most women tend to see themselves as subjects who relate emotionally to other subjects.

Main point : Understand each other, and you will truly LOVE your other. (1+1=1, 2-1=0.)

Yea, that's basically what I wanna say today. Cherish each other, you'll need it. It's what we, as humans, need anyway.

Terensu the CraftKnight.

Let it Rain.



I'm Terence.
I'm 18.
My birthdate? 8th September.
If you need a friend to listen to you,I'll take the job.

Have fun,



J!@ H@0
Geng An


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