Saturday, Night, Miserable.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
So! What do you guys want to know?
Why do I want to refrain from anger and girls?
Cause anger is plain stupid.
And girls..."Release the Demon...".
Nevermind. It all started yesterday when me and Zell decided to ask some girls about what they want from their future men.
- Freedom
- Trust
- Surprises x 2
- Something good to show off.
That's it?
Well that's all they want to say.
I'll need a close female friend to know more...but not this year.
Well...the miserable part?
I forgot...somehow this "What girls want" turned into "What I want".
And then this Inner Demon came out to eat me.
This Inner Demon?
It's something about "Desperation to seek attention".
Yes, I've become a freak, a pedo, and...I don't know. Insert your worst suitable noun here.
Then I barely snapped out of it.
I freaked many people out.
For this split second (More like a few minutes) I wanted my future girlfriend to be my 'crutches'.
I'm weak, I know.
Next day I feel all better only to brew trouble again.
I have such a wonderful brain that brews trouble every step of the way!
Maybe it was the fever...*Remembers the sinusitis during the August-September period*
Nevermind.
Moral of the story : I'm chewed up and spit out crushed.
...
But I will just hang in there until the day a miracle happen.
I apologise to everyone whom I freaked out and annoyed.
Received near-zero consolations so far...I really somebody to brighten up my life.
Despite the fact that I'm better off than tons of people, I have this wierdo Inner Demon.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
Why must i have this stupid mentality that ruined myself?
I'm a sad boy.
Targets : 20 push-ups a day, fight my Inner Demon, prevent myself from suicide, stop blaming myself, stop calling yourself a PERVERT.
Let it Rain.
21:46