6/8, Saturday.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
I guess I'll do a long one since I've left this damned thing to live in the dust for so long.
To the people who frowned on my 'whining' that I'll never get a girlfriend
To the people who tried to motivate me but failed miserably
To the people who broke my self-esteem time and time again
And to all the disappointments I've had over the past year and beyond
Thank you. My life wouldn't be mine without you guys, eh?
When I'm alone and was extremely down, few tried to cheer me up, and I truly felt happy when I see their efforts to make me happier. It doesn't last long, I've always said, but it doesn't get forgotten either. Thanks, you guys know who you are.
It's just so saddening that when you want something, and you just won't be getting it.
I've had so many disappointments, but I know that I shouldn't hurt anyone.
First years of soccer was an exception; I didn't know how to play.
The accumulation of anger was so painfully much just because I can't let it out, that it starts to go inwards. I know that I have to let it out somehow, but I won't. It's not that I'm destroying myself or anything. I know when I'm about to turn mad, don't worry.
Besides, what's the point of everything? Your self sees it as a need, others see it merely as a want. You want to open up to them; they take it for granted and present you with unwanted opinions, one-sided statements, and cold, harsh words. It just makes people feel more lonely after such a bitch of a conversation. What can you do? Cry on your own? It's not going to solve anything, though it does seem that you have no power to change the outcome either.
Many thoughts fog up your mind. People tell you that women are fickle at their teens and will not last long in relationships. You want to make a stand and attempt to actually believe that there exists kind girls who would appreciate you. No, your wish does not get granted. You get trash, so much so that your heart starts to run dry and your belief broken down slowly. You can't do anything.
You can't really do anything.
When the time finally comes when your need isn't fulfilled, your dreams shattered, your energy depleted, and your hopes...your hopes! They do not exist! You sink deep into your own darkness. You start to act haywire in times of fatigue and injury. You feel like screaming but you can't. You want to do something about it and have no options opened up for you. You're scared of failing again as it'll just kill you once and for all!
No, you cry in a corner. The right one will come one day. You wanted very much to believe it. You wanted very much to do that. You watched as all your memories flash past you. You reminisce your joking personality, your mostly mild temper, your pure wish to fall in love with the right girl and be very much happy with her...
Stand up, face your trauma, and face imminent death.
I'll give you another 26.5 hours to live.
Happy Birthday in advance, Terence, it's been a painful year,
NighT.
Let it Rain.
21:09