28/12/08
Sunday, December 28, 2008
My mind is really starting to undergo breakdown, just as I expected.
Don't ask why, I don't know either. I just know this would happen.
Either way, I'm reflecting on what I've done over the holidays.
Even with that much time, I don't know what my purpose is in wasting so much time, yet not learning anything much.
My fear for girls is probably going to increase by the day. I can no longer express my feelings for/to them. I never did anyway.
There's the self-esteem problem right there.
I cannot run away, that's for sure.
But facing it is going to take everything from me.
Like a knight whose armour is on the verge of shattering, yet still facing a horde of persistent monsters. He wants to run, then realises that his limit is reached too.
So it leaves me with no choice but to stand and wait to see if something saves me or not. I'll use what remains of me to fight back, but the power is soon fading.
Now I think I shouldn't go on the road to dawn anymore. It's going to send me straight to hell.
I'm better off wandering in the night. Even if I hear the agonising cries coming from nowhere, even if roars and screeches and screams sound from all angles...
I'm better off with my own darkness.
Try hard as you might to understand me. It's a task with 5-star difficulty. Ch.
Let it Rain.
23:00